Personal Development

» Louise88 - Compulsive dishonesty

In response to Compulsive dishonesty posted by Migisi:
I don't know about the 'pathological', but yes. I've associated with two people who told lies often, and for low stakes, so that I ended up not believing them on anything.

How do you interact with someone like that? In both cases, I found myself angry (I felt taken advantage of) and frightened (I thought the person might be crazy enough to be violent if I challenged his/her reality), but at some level I genuinely liked the person. It was confusing.

-- posted by Louise88

» Migisi - Compulsive dishonesty

In response to Compulsive dishonesty posted by Louise88:

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I've associated with two people who told lies often, and for low stakes, so that I ended up not believing them on anything.
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Can you offer a real-life example of what 'low stakes' means?
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How do you interact with someone like that?
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I don't.

-- posted by Migisi

» Louise88 - Compulsive dishonesty

In response to Compulsive dishonesty posted by Migisi:
a real-life example of what 'low stakes' means

High-stakes would include telling me something that they hope will impress me, or telling something that will make their lives easier. That she used to date a famous singer and is a chartered accountant. That he's good friends with a famous hockey player. That the reason he stopped handing in homework is that the teaching assistant said blatantly anti-Semitic things and made him uncomfortable.

Low-stakes would be things the listener wouldn't even care about. What she had for lunch. How old his mother is.

-- posted by Louise88

» Migisi - Compulsive dishonesty

In response to Compulsive dishonesty posted by Louise88:

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That she used to date a famous singer and is a chartered accountant. That he's good friends with a famous hockey player. That the reason he stopped handing in homework is that the teaching assistant said blatantly anti-Semitic things and made him uncomfortable.
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I can envision myself sitting in on that conversation, nodding my 'uh huhs', and wondering when that person's gonna ~get real~.

-- posted by Migisi

» jesika15 - Compulsive dishonesty

In response to Compulsive dishonesty posted by Migisi:

I have met a few pathological liars in my life, however a little over a year ago I met the most vicious pathological liar, I could ever imagine. This individual lies about things that are so hurtful and cruel to others that it is almost unbelievable. It actually makes me sick to my stomach. What about the basic good, do unto others as you would want done to you? I believe that this is a sick weak person absolutely avoiding personal accountability who has friends and family that enable this person constantly. I still have to deal with this person, but I have no respect for this person because of the way they treat others. I am a true believer in honesty and the basic good of people, but this person has challenged all of my beliefs. I could never live with myself if I pulled the kind of stuff this person has done and continues to do. I am a firm believer that what goes around comes around.. and someday you have to answer for your actions.

-- posted by jesika15

» pink101 - Compulsive dishonesty

In response to Compulsive dishonesty posted by jesika15:
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That's just too sad, isn't it?
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-- posted by pink101

» Brian Tubbs - Questions on Lying

I enjoyed the article. I'm sorry for not reading all the comments. If these questions were addressed, my apologies.

First, by what standard do we determine lying to be wrong? Obviously, as a Christian, I can answer that. But, in upholding the principle of honesty in a pluralistic society, are we left with utilitarianism? In other words, trust is necessary for societies and families to function.

Second, this is my main question (the above kind of feeds into this one)...are there justifications for dishonesty in certain cases? For example, is it wrong for the police to use undercover officers? Is it wrong for the government to employ spies? Is it wrong for a mother to lie to protect her children? Is it wrong for a general to mislead the enemy deliberately (like George Washington did repeatedly in the American Revolution)?

Curious to hear what everyone thinks.

» pradocg - Questions on Lying

In response to Questions on Lying posted by BrianTubbs:

These are two tough questions. To the first, I'd say my heart is with the Kantians who forbid lying in any form--a stricter requirement than the commandment about not bearing false witness. Realistically, I'd side with the utilitarians. As for when deception is permissible, the trouble is that the concept of lying is extremely ill-defined. Is someone working as an undercover cop lying? Well, uh, yes and no. Is saying "Fine" when you're asked how you are lying because you have a headache but are being polite? Again, well, uh, yes and no. My gut reaction is that we're dealing with real lying when there is intent to deceive for personal gain--even if that gain is only impressing someone or something of the sort.

-- posted by pradocg

» pink101 - Questions on Lying

In response to Questions on Lying posted by pradocg:
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Maybe society should focus on more positive things?
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-- posted by pink101

» Brian Tubbs - What about nation-states?

In response to Questions on Lying posted by pradocg:

You mention the "intent to deceive for personal gain" as a serious culprit in lying. What about if the gain is for society or the country? Is it morally acceptable for a US President to lie in order to protect national security? Is it okay for a general to lie to protect his troops? And can we agree the deception is the same qualitatively as lying?